dating

Unless you are a real loner, you need relationships. Even if you are a loner you cannot live all alone. You need to interact with others for your basic needs of food, shelter etc. The issue is that most of us crave for a deeper relationship. A deeper relationship is one that satisfies our emotional needs. That gives us the confidence that we are not all alone. Why most of us have pets- for the simple reason that we get somebody we care for and who cares for us in return, somebody we can call our own. Beyond that we all need to bond with a human and that may bring more pain than pleasure. Let us see how.

Emotional needs

Emotional needs cause a big conflict. Your emotional needs may be different to those of your partner. That will drive both of you in different directions to satisfy respective needs. You may be looking for more of emotional security in terms of acceptance where as your partner may be more worried about not being rejected by you. There can be many such conflicts. They arise because we are born with different mental makeup, we grow up with different mental make up but when we meet each other we want to make a common bond. Sometimes people feel that their partner is like them. But that may be true in only some aspects. As the relationship progresses, other differences come in picture.

References-

All of us carry references from our past. What we experienced repeatedly or what we felt strongly became our reference. In our childhood one of the references we stored was not to misbehave, otherwise we could be punished. We store our references for future use in our mind. If you fell in love and were hurt badly, that may become your reference. You may feel afraid falling in love again. We have different references from each other and that creates a difference in how we perceive a situation. Any partnership suffers because of this. Please discuss your references with your partner to avoid these conflicts.