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Friday, October 30, 2009

Online Dating Secrets



The unconventional way of finding a mate is through Internet or Online Dating. This is made possible by the modern technology that we have today. Online dating can be very simple and very convenient for singles out there who are thrilled of meeting new acquaintances and potential mates.
However, some men can manage to succeed in this dating service while others will be unfortunate enough to find the partners that they so long wanted. The latter usually happens as early as the first contact or communication. This is because some men are not aware that they do or say things that blow their dates off.
To avoid such disappointing event, men should pay attention to one of the most common blunders that they might commit when relating with women online.
Giving her 'just' a wink
Most Internet dating sites do not require you to pay for sending "winks". But what that woman sees from the one who sends her a wink is a guy that is not serious enough about wanting to contact her and is too cheap to afford the site's membership fee. This is definitely not a good way to start off a relationship. Also, she might think that you are not worthy spending time with because guys other than you are more willing to send her real daily messages.
One great idea to solve this problem is to find local chat rooms
Finding local singles online is very simple and easy. For beginners, larger online dating sites allow you to search by your chosen locality, allowing you to specifically look for those local singles in your area.



If you reside in a larger metropolitan area, it is most likely that you will have numerous other online dating alternatives. On the other hand, if you reside in a smaller, less populated area, your localized online dating selections may be more limited.
if you are residing in San Francisco, and you will do a quick online search, the search will produce a specific number of websites that exclusively cater to singles residing in the area of San Francisco.
Online dating sites provide you with free porn potential partners from all over the world. However, with this kind of dating, you may be led to a long distance relationship, and you will eventually have to be troubled about the hassles and difficulties of such love affair.
On the other hand, dating in free single chat room has a greater advantage. Dating locally has a comforting feeling of familiarity since it will be almost certainly that you will end up dating someone with the same background. And this can lead to greater compatibility. Living in a large city makes local dating especially fun and exciting because you will have a larger and more diverse group of people to choose from.
Once you've decided to go on online dating, either locally or worldwide, examine a few free adult chat rooms first before making your choice. Make sure that the site is legitimate and works smoothly, or else you will not fully enjoy your online dating experience.

What a Woman Wants in a Man


Confidence is a must when it comes to what women want. They want a man who is confident and takes the lead. They want to know that the man can handle his own and not doubt his identity. A confident man that carries himself well is very sexy to a woman.

Affection is also on the top of the list of what a woman wants in a man. Most women love displays of affection, public and private. We love hand holding, you putting your arm around us or the back of our chair. It tells us you claim us as yours and we find that powerful. Stolen kisses are good too.



We also want to feel secure. We want to know that you can not only take care of yourself, but you can take care of us as well. It does not mean we need you to take care of us financially, although we do want you to be motivated and have goals in life. We want to know that you will defend us, take up for us, and stand beside us and be proud of us.

Being heard and understood is also a big one when it comes to what a woman wants in a man. "He just does not listen" is one of the top complaints from women. We want you to listen to us. If we are discussing a problem or obstacle, we want you to hear us. We know you like to fix things, but we don't want you to fix it, we want you to pay attention and listen. When a man does this, it is the world to a woman.




No matter how hard a cheating spouse tries to hide infidelity, there are always signs and clues that may lead the other partner suspicious. Most often, a woman's intuition would lead her to find clues and hints of any infidelity in the relationship.

Infidelity however is not just about men cheating on the relationship. A percentage of women are also cheating on their partners. Indeed, marriage vows can be tried and tested with temptations at times and if you already have a suspicion of something going on in the relationship, you can always try to be keen on some signs that your spouse is cheating.

1. A cheating spouse may have sudden changes in work habits like working long hours too often, overtimes, going on business trips for longer days than the usual and many other work-related excuses. He may also hang out with officemates more often than usual. Take note that cheating spouses most often find affairs in the work place as it is where you spend most of the time aside from home. Even if the cheating does not involve an office mate, work is however a common excuse that most cheating partners would tell their spouses.

2. Conversations in the phone may either be discreet, abrupt and most often raises suspicion. Most often, the faithful partner picks up clues with the cheating spouse's behavior on the phone. He may try to avoid answering his cell phone and cancels calls when you are in the room or goes out of the room before he answers it. If he does answer the phone when you are around, he may be paying close attention on you and ends the call if he sees you coming close. If these behaviors are often and have become unusual, these may be signs that your spouse is cheating.

3. Unusual expenses and money issues start to appear. Cheating may somehow bring issues to the finances. Credit card charges to restaurants, gift items or suspicious expenses, increased phone bills, lesser savings... the credit card statement may provide a black and white clue about the infidelity. The cheating partner may get away with it at first but not at all times.

4. Other possible signs that your spouse is cheating are of course, lipstick marks, change in his perfume or he is giving too much attention to his looks and his body which he never does before. He may also spend some time trying hard to look nicer than usual.

Before you would confront your spouse upon seeing him do one or two of these signs listed here, keep in mind that these signs can also mean anything other than infidelity. These signs are just the common ones that cheating spouses tend to show and thus can give you an idea that there is indeed the possibility of cheating. It is important to consider that if you really want to know the exact truth, you just can't judge it by the change of behavior of your spouse. One tip - take advantage of technology to catch a cheating partner.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009



If the kissing sessions you have been having with your woman is going smoothly, then maybe it is time to bring the level of intimacy a notch higher and start going for a French kiss; however, French kissing is not all about slipping your tongue inside her mouth just so you could count how many molars she still have left.

It is a passionate art which you have to study well in order for you to properly execute it. Here listed are four easy steps on how you can give your girlfriend, or any girl for that matter, a great French kissing! Read on and find out how.

Step #1 - Get your mouth and body ready. Remember to brush your teeth and most importantly, your tongue. Shower, shave and it would also be nice to have a whiff of cologne. When you are planning to go to a dinner, always make sure you have breath fresheners or mints in stow.



Step #2 - You have to get your woman seriously in the mood for kissing. You can start by whispering naughty things to her, caressing her hair and face, etc. Next, start kissing her on her forehead, nose, cheek, then land a big one on her lips. Kiss her lips passionately; all the while cupping her face to get her moods going.

Step #3 - Now, open your girl's lips gently and slowly with the tip of your tongue. Let it stay inside for a couple of seconds and wait for her to reach for it with her own tongue. Once you have established connection, start with a soft twist and twirl as if you are playing with it.

Step #4 - Build the levels of passion up by moving your hands from her ears, neck, shoulders and down to her waist. She will surely respond with a couple of moans and intense tongue motions. The only thing you have to do at this point is keep the flow of desire going.

Now Listen Carefully-

How would you like to discover an earth shattering secret that will make any and every girl chase you around like crazy even if you are fat, bald or plain ugly. Do not do anything else in your life unless you read each and every word on the next page first. Trust me... This is one thing you definitely don't want to miss at any cost

If the kissing sessions you have been having with your woman is going smoothly, then maybe it is time to bring the level of intimacy a notch higher and start going for a French kiss; however, French kissing is not all about slipping your tongue inside her mouth just so you could count how many molars she still have left.

It is a passionate art which you have to study well in order for you to properly execute it. Here listed are four easy steps on how you can give your girlfriend, or any girl for that matter, a great French kissing! Read on and find out how.

Step #1 - Get your mouth and body ready. Remember to brush your teeth and most importantly, your tongue. Shower, shave and it would also be nice to have a whiff of cologne. When you are planning to go to a dinner, always make sure you have breath fresheners or mints in stow.

Step #2 - You have to get your woman seriously in the mood for kissing. You can start by whispering naughty things to her, caressing her hair and face, etc. Next, start kissing her on her forehead, nose, cheek, then land a big one on her lips. Kiss her lips passionately; all the while cupping her face to get her moods going.

Step #3 - Now, open your girl's lips gently and slowly with the tip of your tongue. Let it stay inside for a couple of seconds and wait for her to reach for it with her own tongue. Once you have established connection, start with a soft twist and twirl as if you are playing with it.

Step #4 - Build the levels of passion up by moving your hands from her ears, neck, shoulders and down to her waist. She will surely respond with a couple of moans and intense tongue motions. The only thing you have to do at this point is keep the flow of desire going.

Now Listen Carefully-

How would you like to discover an earth shattering secret that will make any and every girl chase you around like crazy even if you are fat, bald or plain ugly. Do not do anything else in your life unless you read each and every word on the next page first. Trust me... This is one thing you definitely don't want to miss at any cost

Monday, October 5, 2009

Russian Dating Facts




So you have decided you can find the right women on the net, and have been doing a little research into Russian brides, what made you believe that you can find the right woman on the net? Today there are hundreds of Russian dating websites offering matchmaking services. Some are very successful, so maybe you have been thinking of trying one and having a chance to change your life.

Russian brides has become a popular search phrase in the last few years many men have jumped onto the "Russian brides " bandwagon. Many people share experiences in the dating forums, telling stories of either a very successful relationships they managed to start with the help of a Russian dating site or a bad experience with Russian women who has trying by all means to hang on to them and use them as a tool to get away from their native country and have a better lifestyle.

Sure there are many women who will take advantage of their sex and good looks; they know only too well many men desire a Hot Russian bride. They are pretending to be looking for a real relationship but all they actually want is marriage which will allow them to stay in a western country and live the life style they have dreamed of.


Some women after having a visa and a short time in her new country will look for a new partner which will suit their needs better, you should always keep this in mind when searching for a Russian bride, although it is only a small minority you have just as much chance of meeting a "gold digger" on any western dating site.

On the other hand, Russia is the biggest country in the world and there are thousands of true Russian women looking for real love and romance with a western man, many Russian dating sites try extremely hard to filter out any fake women joining their sites. And will carry out scam tests to check the women, it is not in the dating agencies interest to have fake girls in their websites.

Now you will understand how the term "mail order bride" arose. For most Russian woman, or whether she be Russian, Ukrainian or any other nationality, the term "Russian bride" is very degrading. It compares them to something you would buy in a catalogue and have delivered to your doorstep.

Well I have some interesting news for all men searching for a Russian bride. Finding and dating a real Russian woman is a big challenge these days, the promise of life in the "land of milk and honey" of the UK or the USA or most of Europe is no longer what it used to be, all Russian women have access to the internet now and have come to realize life is not so great in the West as they thought. Many men in the West still have the wrong idea of Russia and some still believe it snows all year and all women are pheasants waiting to be rescued by a man from the West, if you are one of these men you had better do some research fast!

Russian dating sites have improved considerably over the years and many offer fully interactive communication with your future bride. Modern Russian dating sites know that Russian scams are actually ruining their reputations and try to do their best to prove that their business is real and offering a good service to members.

Before starting your Russian mail order brides search – you should think exactly what you are looking for and why. Men sometimes are searching for a bride in Russia just for the thrill to meet a lady who is different to what he is used to at home they just seek a few days holiday in a foreign country with a Hot Russian bride and expect sex to be thrown in.

Truth of the matter is that there are many beautiful women out there with true feelings, they are not interested in a short tem romance or a one night stand. Russians are not pretty Matrioshka dolls which you take home after your annual holiday. These women are hoping that you might be the one who will treat them well, respect them and make them feel loved. If you are just looking for a short term fling or romance you should make it clear from the start.

Wanting to marry a Russian women is a big step. Even though it will be a big challenge to you, there are many examples of successful relationships between Russians and foreigners. All you should do is read between the lines during your correspondence, and try to do some research into Russian life and culture.

How to Read Your Date


So you have finally gotten to a point in your life where you want to find that special someone, or maybe you just got through a divorce and are suddenly back in the game, or you might still be married or involved and just have a very hard time understanding your partner. How can you tell if your date is being open to you? How can you make yourself appear more open?

For thousands of years animals, including humans, have relied on body language to provide valuable information to the instincts, letting them know immediately whether they are facing friend of foe, whether they need to fight or flee. While most people have great control over their words, few are equally in control of their body language and micro-expressions (the little movements in the face and eyes which provide insight into a person's thoughts or feelings). Before I get too much into this I must caveat: no single expression in body language means unequivocally one thing, rather it is the sum of like actions that you will be looking for. Do not get worked too hard around the axle because you saw one thing that might mean something you do not like.

Body language is the easiest area to read since it relies on large movements of major body parts. Essentially, if the person is open the body is open and if they are closed the body is closed. A few things to look for include:

1) Crossed arms and legs. When people are uncomfortable or unsure they naturally move into a modification of the fetal position. They pull their extremities in close and hunch slightly, leaning away.

Whether this is because they are uncomfortable in the setting or uncomfortable with you will take some determination. If it happened immediately after you said or did something, it's a pretty safe bet it's you. Try backing off slightly; opening up your own posture and giving them room to do the same.

2) Open arms, leaning forward. This is the opposite of being crossed and tight. When a person is comfortable and interested, they will lean toward their date, possibly even seeking little opportunities to touch your arm or leg and sidle closer.

This is what you are looking for, when you see it try to slightly mimic their actions. Do not do everything exactly like they do, but some slight mimicry tells their subconscious that you are like-minded with them and that you are a friend.

3) Fidgeting. Some people are just naturally nervous, especially on first dates. We all recognize the meaning of fidgeting, but you might not know how to help ease your date.

First, do not call attention to whatever they are doing; this only makes them more uncomfortable. Instead change the topic of discussion, probing for something that that they are passionate about, something that they will get excited about. Open up but let them keep their space until they loosen.

Micro-expressions are much more difficult to detect, but are more telling. We rely extensively on what a person's face is telling us because those motions are naturally more difficult to control. The same basic principles of open and closed apply. More importantly, however, you are looking for tense or strained muscles. A few specific things to look for here:

1) Closed expression. When a person is uncomfortable, many of the muscle groups in their face tense up. The cheek muscles will stand out slightly, the muscles around the eyes will pull inward, and their eyebrows will pull down. They may try to fake a more open expression, smiling with their lips but not with their eyes as we say. When faking an open expression, the muscles just strain harder. In a faked smile the teeth will generally remain together, perhaps clenching.

If your date is maintaining a closed expression, focus on your own. We mimic facial expressions quicker than body language movements, so try to maintain a loose openness in your own face despite what your date is doing.

2) Open expression. Think Santa Claus and you have an open expression. When the muscles relax around the mouth and eyes you know they are not feeling threatened or uncomfortable. No matter the emotion that is being exhibited on the face - happiness, sadness, anger, etc. - the muscles will be relaxed in the face if they are being open and wearing their true emotion. The cheek muscles slacken, the eyes muscles relax, and the teeth come apart.

To keep your date open just keep your own face open, again applying some slight mimicry here. You don't have to make an effort to turn sadness into happiness; you simply have to focus on getting them into this open state where whatever emotion they are expressing is their true emotion.

There are many things you can learn from the micro-expressions and body language of your date. In some fields, especially sales, it is a matter of professional interest to learn these things because it helps the salesman make the slight adjustments in his pitch to keep you interested. On a date we are all salesmen, right? Good luck in your endeavors, and remember there's always more information out there, study up.


Attitude is your most priceless possession, one of your most valuable assets. To a great extent, it determines the overall quality of your life.

In this climate of uncertainty , I am convinced more than ever that people need to know that having an ongoing positive attitude toward your business associates and customers is key to success. They assume you'll give them a great big "thank you" after you give them a referral or buy your product. However, do you keep that attitude of gratitude throughout the relationship, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health?

If you're managing a team, you need to help your team members internalize a sense of loyalty to their customers, a loyalty that comes from relationship marketing. It gives your team a positive attitude that can get them through most situations - no matter how challenging.

Here are some simple tactics that will allow you to develop a consistent positive attitude and build loyalty with customers as well as team members and business associates.

1. Serve your customers. Put customers' needs before anything else. Perhaps your customers rely on your product or service after normal business hours. Therefore, give them your cell and home phone numbers. This is like giving them an insurance policy; it's unlikely they will ever call you at home, but it's reassuring.

2. Feel comfortable with casual calls. Think of reasons to call customers with new information and ideas, unrelated to selling or marketing, just to stay in contact. Good friends always enjoy hearing from each other, even if it's just to say hello. An attitude of informal interactions is a major building block in customer relationships.

3. Prove dependability. Too many fall short in this area. Make sure to keep promises and honor guarantees. Customers love to hear "I'll take full responsibility for that," and, "Consider it done." Faithful salespeople yield faithful customers.

4. Give thanks even for bad news. We usually celebrate successful deals and let our clients know how much their business means to us. What happens when we lose an order or the client's cash flow limits their buying power? Do we say, "Too bad, let's move on to where the money is?" In my virtual assistant business, like most businesses, not every proposal provides me with new income. Even with the rejections, I show appreciation by sending a note of thanks for their consideration. This has resulted in unexpected business later.

Remember that real wealth is measured not by what you have, not by where you are, but by the spirit that lives within you. Success is an attitude.


A Job For Your Dog -- Dogs Are Natural Ice Breaker and Conversation Maker .... and Great at Making Contact with Strangers

While some singles might think that dating is for the dogs, the smart dog loving singles know that their furry friend can help them meet the right mate or make new friends. Sit at an outdoor patio of a cafe or a restaurant with your dog and chances are someone will come and talk to ... your dog and you .... about your dog and dogs in general.

So if you are looking for a new romance, the ideal mate or just make new friends, this is the time to let your canine friend open doors for you.

Dog Dating 101 in 3 Steps

  • Find outdoor venues where you can bring your dog such as a restaurant with sidewalk seating. Obviously you need to be completely positive that your dog can behave himself, lie down, sit quietly under the table or beside your chair.
  • Let your pup work his dog charm. Those cute eyes will stop any dog lover in their tracks for a deserving itch behind the dog's ears. This is not the only cuteness they have, dogs love to wag those tails and be excited for anything that looks like food.
  • Once your potential date stops to look at your dog this is your cue where you strike up a conversation. Since the dog stopped them you need to bring yourself into the picture.

Your first connections are obviously that the individual likes dogs and shops at a location that you frequent as well. This provides a common ground found in other possible chance meetings.

Sometimes this takes several tries to find an available individual, so repeat as needed. Let me tell you it is far less brutal than the dating scene and you really can meet nice people.

Make sure you reward your dog after the first person so they repeat they cute behavior. Dog treats work well. Places for you and your dog to hang out include bagel stores, Dog Runs, Starbucks and other coffee shops, dog park, dog training classes and pretty much anywhere you can bring your dog with you.

Catherine Potin is passionate about dogs and gain a lot of dog wisdom and experience from her 4 legged friend Timba and all the dogs in her life. She offers free dog training tips and resources from various experts so you too can understand and train your pooch better. If you are looking for dog training online resources, clicker training for dogs, tips to train your dog at home or wellness information, check out Happydogconnections.

Sunday, October 4, 2009


It's understandable that most people are apprehensive about going on blind dates. Most people are apprehensive about anything unknown. A blind date requires complete faith and a relinquishing of one's fate to, well, Fate, and more often than not people fear ending up disappointed by their blind dates because they somehow don't live up to their expectations.

But if you were to go on a blind date, that is the one thing you should not have in mind: Expectations. If you are on a blind date of your own free will, you should not have some lofty expectation, hoping for the best and fearing the worst. This article will dispense some useful tips and tricks for guys keen on going on blind dates, but not knowing what to expect or do while on one.

The first thing you need to keep in mind is this: It's a blind date. In most circumstances, your blind date has no idea what to expect from you because she hasn't met you at all, so first impressions count. Think of it this way: Would you be attracted to a filthy, terribly attired woman who doesn't seem to know how to make a good first impression? Unless you have some strange kink for women who don't bother taking good care of themselves, then the answer would most likely.

The point to be made here is, looks are important. It isn't a superficial stereotype, but it's true. In the dating scene, looks make first impressions. A woman could have the most annoying behavioral trait but if she looks smoking hot in a dress with her hair down, looking like a gorgeous pin-up of a supermodel right off the pages of FHM, you'll probably put up with her quirks just to spend the night with her.

If you have that kind of mentality, why should not your date have the same? Attraction often involves a visual component first and foremost. So be sure to appear at least decently attractive on your first blind date, so you won't be a complete turn off for her.

However, it's almost rare that a woman would be attracted to just a guy's looks. Have you seen normal, average Joes who aren't exactly what you would consider handsome or attractive in the very least, but they have by their sides smoking hot girlfriends? It's the strangest combination for sure, but there is a perfectly reasonable explanation for it.

At the most basic level women like guys who are assertive, confident, and able to take control of situations, themselves, and others when needed, because all those traits represent safety for the woman. So on that first blind date, be sure to come across as a guy who's confident, mature, and in-charge.

Another trait women find attractive is personality. You could be the worst-looking guy she's ever met, but if you've got a personality that shows you've got a heart of gold, she'll be putty in your hands. No one can change their natural appearance without drastic cosmetic surgical procedures, in fact it's damn well impossible, but what is possible, even though it may take quite a bit of effort to show your personality to your date's liking.

If you have some inkling of what she likes, then be sure to conduct the necessary research beforehand so you'll come prepared with discussion topics that might appeal to her, perhaps something that has to do with current pop culture, or really anything that she might show an interest in.




You can pretty much say that just about every single one of us has been in a rebound relationship. Rebound relationships are relationships that occur straight after a relationship with someone else, usually someone you love. You actually tend to find that a rebound occurs with someone that has just come out of a long or significant relationship.

So how can you actually tell if it is a rebound relationship?

Well, there are 2 main ways that you can tell by yourself if the relationship is a rebound or one of just coincidence. The first thing that will stick with you right the way through a rebound relationship and one you cannot shake off, is the constant thoughts of your ex!

You constantly think and pine for them even though you are in a new relationship. You also tend to compare the new relationship with the old one. You compare everything, from the way your new relationship is right the way down to sex and conversations. Everything is compared to your ex!

This is a sure sign of rebound relationships because it clearly shows you that you are yet to move on properly and the relationship you are now in is one of an attempt to get over your ex, this doesn't happen as easy as that.

The second way to tell if you are in a rebound relationship is to look at how you act in this relationship. Many people that fall into a rebound relationship will not act how they usually act in a normal relationship. You may go through the relationship with the impression it isn't going to last or that you are not to bothered whether it does or not. The main reason you are in the relationship is to try and get over your ex and because you need the support of love to do this.

Rebound relationships almost NEVER last! The thoughts of your ex and the comparisons made throughout will always bring your ex out on top even if the break up with your ex was one of a horrible situation. Your ex could have even cheated on you and you will still rate them higher than the new relationship.

This is the sure sign way of working out if your relationship is one of a rebound. They generally never last and are just there to offer comfort and support on fixing that broken heart!


Break ups are tough, especially if your relationship has broken up with somebody that you love very deeply and who you may have spent a significant amount of time with! Many people worldwide actually go through it but even so, losing a loved one through break up can make you feel very alone. This is normal and the usual response from loved ones and friends is one of "You need to move on!"

But letting go of a relationship isn't always that easy! So, I am going to play a little devil's advocate today and tell you that if you are trying so hard to let go of a relationship and the pain isn't subsiding, then maybe, just maybe, patching up a relationship is the key to healing a broken heart!

You may be sat there now reading this, thinking, I already know that and if I could go back I would! Not every break up and relationship ends on good terms and sometimes relationships end because of disloyalty and callous actions, but 9 out of 10 times letting go of that relationship can be one of the harder things to do.

You see, in life they say you only meet your true love once and once you have found your soul mate you need to stick with them. The thing is, that is what people say and I for one don't necessarily believe that as fact. But there is no way of knowing that the relationship you are trying to let go of, is the relationship that indeed holds the true love.

It takes a brave person to move on and fully let go of a relationship but it takes an even braver person to stand up and fight for their relationship and fight to save the love that once blossomed. So, looking at your own situation, is letting go of a relationship really the best thing to do?

Want more tips on how to win your relationship back? What if I share a secret way with you which would make your ex crawl back to you almost instantly no matter how bad the situation is? Your life will never be the same from this point on.


For a guy, making a woman to desire you as much as you desire her or even more is not as hard as rocket science. In fact, rocket science is very far from it because it is not hard at all provided you know what to do. In order for a guy to totally enjoy any relationship that he goes into, there must exist in that relationship what is simply known as mutual desire. Without this mutual desire, the relationship will no doubt be very one-sided and most times the lady does have control of the advantageous part of the sides. In any case, we shall be discussing three vital tips that a man can use to make a woman desire him more.

Tip 1 – Confidence

It is often said that “you are addressed by how you dress”, so how confident you are when you are with the woman in question goes a long in determining how she addresses you. High self confidence has a magical way of endearing women to men, those who have realized this have regularly taken advantage of its powers to woo and seduce very attractive women. However, do not misconstrue self confidence with arrogance because both of them produce extremely opposite results. While the former can instantly turn you into an ultimate women magnet, the latter produces catastrophic results and can often turn you into the ultimate women repellent.

Tip 2 – Be The Unique You

Nobody can be you better than you, as soon as you acquire the above discussed self-confidence, you should easily become a more efficient you. When you approach a lady, ensure that you flow with the conversation as a natural you rather than coughing out all those memorized pick up lines which have mostly become obsolete and more often than not do not fit into the context under discuss at that particular time.

Tip 3 – Lighten Up Her Mood

The third and final tip in this article is to always do things that would lighten up her mood. Put up a smiling face regularly and concentrate on getting her to laugh often. Mind you, by getting her to laugh often, I mean you should do things that would make her laugh with you rather than at you.

Saturday, October 3, 2009


How to be triumphant in winning you love back is a topic that I want to talk about today. Extremely a lot of people do this all wrong. They assume that they have got to insistently pursue their ex in order to get him or her back. In truth, not anything possibly will be further from the truth. If you fancy being on familiar terms with how to win love back, stick to the advice in this piece of writing as closely as achievable.

The first thing you need to know in the how to win love back arena is that you do not want to chase your ex.

Exceedingly many guys think they be required to pursue their ex's. They send hundreds of texts, call at odd hours of the day, and even stalk their ex girlfriends home. They send off flowers and gifts.

This is utterly a mistake being made over and over again because it makes you look desperate. Women like Alpha males, not bawling guys they think are jokes. When you come out as hopeless, your ex girlfriend will start playing head games with you. She will let you come over, and then invite a new guy over too. She will pretend she is engrossed only to go off in another direction.

And, the more you fall into this trap, the more games she will play. This is not the answer to how to win love back.

Instead of going after her and being hopelessly desperate, you need to play games with her that make her come crawling to you.

As you are in a group that incorporates her, flirt with all the girls but her. If she has an adversary in the group, compensate special attention to that girl. By ignoring your ex, you make her want to come back to you. You are prompting her of all of your appeal, but not spreading it over to her.

It is an excellent idea to go out on a date with one of her chummy friends. Send out to your ex a text message saying now that we are just friends, I sought after your opinion on something. Where ought to I take Mary to dinner as soon as the big game has ended? That is in no doubt to make your ex girlfriend covetous and it is one of the behavior for how to win your love back.

Even if you do not wants to play head games with your ex, there is one thing that you can do that may lend a hand on you in the how to win love back arena. That is, you ought to be happy.

Girls are fond of dating guys that are happy. If you work on yourself, rather than focus on her, you have a much better chance getting her back.

Go to the gym and work out. Hang around with your buddies. Be involved in a pastime you never ever had the opportunity doing for when you were dating her. Go out on dates. Even if you have to fake being happy at the start, you will before long realize that you really are happy.

This sense, whether you obtain the girl back or you go on, you will be a better-off person.

And, that is my advice for how to win your love back.


You can feel that there is something wrong your relationship with your partner, however you cannot point your finger at it. You know that it's coming to an end, but you are in denial and you are scared to say that: "It's not working out anymore". It's not your fault, and it's not your partners fault. But things do change and if love is not present, then there's no point in working the relationship out.

There are signs already, although you do not notice it at first. Lack of communication, disagreements, you're saying one thing and he responds in a totally different way, and you feel that it's irrelevant. He or she seems distant, even if you are together physically and in the same room. How can you tell if the relationship is just having a little lover's quarrel or if it's inharmonious already that the only way out is through the door?

There are signs, and listed are a few things you'll know when a relationship is over:

1. If your partner seem distant recently. You can also feel that when you are making love, as though his or her emotions are not connected to her body.

2. If your partner start fights with you for no reason at all, with the conclusion of him/her storming out of the house.

3. If your partner starts to tell you that everything you do is wrong (e.g. "You never..." or "You always...".

4. If no matter how much you put effort in the relationship, it seems that it's not enough for your partner.

5. If your partner expects you to be a mind reader.

6. If you try to talk to your partner about taking the relationship to the next level (for example: moving in together or if you're living in together, marriage), and the only respond you get is a vague statement like: "we'll see what happens".

If the signs are present, and is shown by your partner, then you may want to rethink that this beautiful relationship you had once is going to end soon. Signs like these show that your partner wants a way out of the relationship but does not have enough courage to tell you directly.


Well, technically, it's not really your fault you're a shy virgin man --- but of course, you need to realize that you're the master of your destiny and half the reason why you're still dateless and shy (and a virgin) is because you never seem to do something about it. Okay maybe you did but you're just darn too shy or scared around women that you got stuck on your status of being single as far as you can remember --- maybe it's prime time we all get out our hardened shells and start living a life now, for Cripe's sakes! Below are the five flirting strategies for shy virgin men you definitely shouldn't miss --- learn them by heart, get a girl and start a make-out session now!

  • Go out with friends. Friends are great extensions to the world --- the know people we don't and that's a great opportunity to finally meet new people. Say yes to invitations, attend parties, pack your staff for a weekend getaway with your buddies --- see? Maybe you've been anti-social all your life and it's time you embrace change. And I mean, now.
  • Read books and watch a lot of movies. That's correct --- feed your soul. If you want to learn something, read a book. If you want to be entertained but still learn a few lessons or two, watch flicks --- get "knowledged-up" as much as you can without straining yourself too much. Get a hobby, indulge into your passions --- it all starts with yourself.
  • Deal with your little insecurities. Insecurities are normal and everybody has them. However, insecurities slow us down and they don't really mean anything good to us that's why we need to let them go out of lives, permanently. Forget fear of rejection, your embarrassing experiences in middle school and your long battle with yourself about lacking confidence --- it's time we take the other side of the road.
  • Stay cool no matter what. Acting all too nervous or over excited around women is something that may be hard for you to handle but let's get the point --- it is a must. The more desperate of needy for attention you are, the more it'll turn away the ladies. They want someone who's confident, independent and can handle themselves no matter what the situation.
  • Forget your fear of rejection. This just literally slows you down. Fears are no good news but it can inevitable --- but seriously, why do you have to delve too much about rejection, anyway? It's all part of the game and the more you run away from it, the more it'll run after you. So wing it --- stop wasting time.
Do you want to become a master when it comes to the art of flirting for shy virgin men and be an absolute expert in reading signs of sexual tension? Do you have what it takes to be an expert with women and know more on seduction tips for men? Unravel more secrets of seduction and other seduction methods by visiting my website right now. It holds all amazing techniques on how to be great and sensual with women you thought you'd never get a chance with!


Marriage is a big deal, one very sacred thing in a man's life --- it's when you say goodbye to your bachelor days, the flirting days, the hooking-up with lots of girls days and simply, drowning into love and finally settling up with the girl you've been in love with. Such heavy words, isn't it? So what if you're all set to say "I do" but you're still getting some doubts whether she'll say yes or no --- don't worry. Reading your girlfriend's mind and knowing if she's ready for marriage is a piece of cookie. Nothing can be more crystal clear. But if you insist, here the tips to know when is a woman ready for marriage --- and finally find out the five signs she's all set to walk down the aisle with you:

  • She lets you know about it. It may be subtle signs of course --- you need to read between her lines. And you're probably heard it a couple of times before how'd she'd love to spend the rest of her life with you and grow old with you. Hello? It has marriage written all over her face. Better pop the question soon.
  • She talks of the future. Future plans, career, where she'd like to settle in, number of cats in the house, even the color of the curtains --- these are all indications of a woman in love who is ready to tie the knot with the man of her dreams. Oh, did she mention she loves breakfast in bed?
  • She talks about having kids. Kids can be a very sensitive topic and even newly weds or married couples for years have a hard time discussing it --- depends on the priorities of course. So when she does start to talk about it, there's never a clearer sign she wants to get hitched. And make babies soon!
  • She excels in her career. She's inspired, period. She's finally found a purpose in her life and she's investing on her career to make both your lives comfortable (she expects the same for you of course). Support her in her passions, be her number one fan and she'll definitely be the same for you.
  • She keeps talking about her friends who're already hitched. A little envy and jealousy on her part? You bet there is. She loves seeing her good old friends walking down the aisle and finally getting settled with their partners and she's always whining about being "always the bride's maid, never the bride." Okay, can you be denser than you already are? Go find a ring and pop the question tonight!
Do you want to make every single day a romantic and intense day for you and your partner? Are you still wondering when is a woman ready for marriage for real? Now, for a more thorough list on how to be sweet with your girlfriend plus amazing secrets on how to be most romantic boyfriend ever, visit my website now! It holds all amazing techniques on how to be great and sensual with your woman and I guarantee you no more dull days ever! You're one click away from all the excitement.


If you aren't having any luck with your dating life, it is time to take a look at your attitude. You need to prove your hidden strength. If you are sick & tired of spending the night alone, this is what you need. Your coolness will be compelling to chicks when you establish you are the alpha man.

I preach from lots of trial and error. For so long I couldn't work out what other guys had that I did not, so I began reading about what is the thing that makes guys attractive to women.

Everything that I researched pointed to a definite answer. All I needed to do was to get in touch with my actual nature and draw out the alpha male in me. As soon as I did the results were even more surprising than I had anticipated.

I no longer my nights lonely. It is possible do the same change that I did.

Do you wonder why the alpha male so desirable to women? The answer is simple, confidence. It's really that simple.

A guy filled with self-confidence will attract attention all around the room. While you want to look your best, that's not necessarily what attracts women. Women need their man to make them feel protected. They look for a man that is self-assured and brave.

Today is the time to recognize that you are an alpha male.

Are you ready to be secure enough to invite any woman out? Can't you see changing your situation from alone to full of girls? Is your social time waiting for a confident better version of you?

Today is the day for you to become an Alpha Man.

You can get a hot girl tonight...

Thursday, October 1, 2009


Are you wondering how to approach a random girl? There is something about approaching girl groups that can make a guy sweat in all the wrong places. With girl groups being so intimidating, start simply with one girl at a time.

Most of us know that a guy who can't make a simple approach is going to have a difficult time with every other aspect of girls and dating.

We tend to make it more difficult than it really is in our minds. We don't give ourselves enough room for error. Leaving a small margin of error for near misses and total bombs helps you develop the skills and the practice that is necessary for ultimate success.

Approaching girls doesn't have to be quite distressing. But just like anything else the more you practice the better you'll get at it. Just because you're approaching a girl doesn't mean you have to ask her out. It just means that you want to strike up a conversation or just simply leave her with a simple compliment.

The less invested in the outcome, the easier it is to practice your approach. Starting with girls that are maybe not your ideal woman can help calm you down. What makes the approach so difficult is that we don't want to blow our shot. If we're not really all that worked up about how she responds the easier it is to practice.

Being sincere but giving her a compliment is not a bad way to get started. If you stumble through the process, bear in mind that many women find a flustered guy to be attractive. You are practicing in order to build up your confidence. The more confident you are the easier this potentially palm sweaty experience will be.

As you build up your confidence you will find that you're ready to graduate from compliments and conversation starters to asking a woman out for coffee or a drink on the spot. As time passes and you realize that approaching girls is just an acquired skill, you will be the guy that other guys ask for advice.


How do you make your ex want you back when you think all hope is lost and they tell you that your relationship is over for good? Luckily almost all relationships can be saved if you adjust your approach and avoiding using desperate tactics that will push your ex away forever.

How Do You Make Your Ex Want You Back - Steps You Must Take

The best way to make your ex want you back is to turn things around and do the exact opposite of what you are doing right now. It might kill you right now to stop contact, agree with the break up but you must do so to make your ex regret ever breaking up with you.

No one wants a needy ex and your ex is no different, become confident, positive and happy and look forward, this will feel like the exact opposite of how you want to feel and act but you must show this side to your ex.

Agree with your ex that your relationship is over and you respect their decision to end it, thank them for the time you shared together and stop all contact immediately. No calls, messages, or emails, nothing.

Start spending time with family and friends and doing things you enjoy knowing that by doing this your ex will begin to question their decision to leave you. Right now you have nothing to lose and everything to gain, laugh, smile, and do things that make you feel great and make your ex want you back.

Get word out to your ex through mutual friends or family about how happy you are with life right now and how great things are going. Your ex will begin to question what has bought on this sudden change, this is perfectly natural as they will ask themselves and wonder if you have met someone else.

Your ex will begin to wonder why you are so happy, not speaking to them and if you have already moved on with your life, expect contact from your ex.


In order to successfully reverse a breakup.you must go against everything that you feel inside right now and contain your emotions. If you go with the standard approach that many before you have tired chances are that you will lose your ex forever and ruin the last chance you have to stop and reverse your break up.

The best way to reverse a break up is to do the complete opposite of what you are doing and how you are feeling right now. What do I mean? Well, chances are you are trying to find ways to stay in contact with your ex desperately wanting to keep your ex in your life, this is your first mistake.

It is time for you to turn the tables on your ex and make them feel as if they were the one that was dumped, while this may sound hard considering the wave of emotions you are going through, it only takes a few changes to make your ex reconsider and reverse a break up.

Firstly, stop all contact with your ex, stop trying to speak to them, if you do speak to make sure you thank them for the time you spent together and agree with the break up. Yes I know this make you feel as if you want to die inside but you must complete step 1.

Step 2 requires you to move on with your life, do not sit there feeling sorry for yourself and constantly thinking about your ex, right now you have nothing to lose but everything to gain, keep this in mind.

Step 3, spend time with your friends, do things that you love and rediscover yourself, the goal here is to show your ex that you do not need them in your life. This may be the opposite of how you feel but you ex must feel as if you do not need them to feel happy and survive.

Step 4, get the word out that you are happy being single, meeting people and going out with friends and enjoying your single life. Make sure the word gets back to your ex about your new found lease on life and how well you are doing without them in your life.

Step 5, when you ex hears about how happy you are their mind will race with thoughts of what has lead to this new change, have you meet somebody else or do you no longer care about them or both!

Once you ex sees how well you are doing being single, the attention you are getting and the regained confidence they will be compelled to make contact with you, this is where you can reverse a break up and get back together and win your ex back


Are you trying to figure out how to attract girls online? There is a growing number of people that are meeting other people through the Internet. In fact, you can make new friends, get jobs, and even find girlfriends with the help of the Internet.

Not everyone is accustomed to this however, and they ask themselves how to pick up girls online. It certainly isn't as difficult as one might think.

First of all, it is a very inexpensive way to meet girls. Consider that a night out at a bar or a club requires quite a bit of cash on everyone's part, especially a guy's. For example, it costs money to dress, as we all have to look appropriate if we're looking to meet people.

Furthermore, some places require entry fees. Those can be quite expensive. Drinking in bars can easily cost you a pretty penny. Not to mention, when you meet a girl in a club or bar, often you may have to buy her a drink as well. But all this can be avoided by way of picking up girls online.

Social networking sites are excellent places to meet people without any cost whatsoever to you. All you need to do is find one of these popular sites, write a profile about yourself, and possibly upload a picture of you. It is recommended however to make a little effort with regards to your profile. Try to be a little creative and fun, all the while remaining honest. At this point, you can start contacting different people who may or may not reply to your requests.

Dating sites are also extremely popular places to meet girls online. Although there are many sites available that are completely free, other sites require a membership fee. This membership fee is really a fraction of the cost of what you would spend on a one night out at a club or at a bar, and therefore should be put into perspective.

So, don't frown on Internet meeting places, because the work. Moreover, don't be cheap about spending the membership fee because it has its advantages as explained above. Hopefully by now, you have some ideas on how to attract girls online.

If you want to learn how to make your ex girlfriend jealous you must approach with caution if you want her to take you back and reunite. While there are many ways you can make your ex jealous, doing so in a way that she will want to take you back can be a little tricky but not impossible.

How To Make Your Ex Girlfriend Jealous - Win Your Ex Back Steps

Step 1. The best method to make your ex girlfriend jealous is to make it appear that you agree with the break up and respect her decision to end the relationship. You maybe dying inside right now thinking about ways you can win her back but you must take this first step.

Step 2. Stop all contact with your ex and ignore all calls and messages for the time being, it common after a break up that your ex will not be sure if they made the right decision and will be having second thoughts. Do not make the decision to leave you any easier for her by waiting for the phone to ring.

Step 3. Go out with the guys and start doings you enjoy, live the single life knowing in the back of your head that you want to make it appear to your ex that you are moving on with your life. Do not do anything stupid that could ruin the chance to reunite with your ex girlfriend.

Step 4. Get the word out to your ex through family or mutual friends about the "new you" and how happy you are with life, your positive attitude, confidence and happiness. Once your ex hears about your new lease on life she will begin to question if you have meet someone else, why you are ignoring her and if she made a huge mistake leaving you and it will make your ex girlfriend jealous

If you are looking at wanting to make your ex miss you then you need to be very careful with your approach. Trying to get your ex back by forcing them to reconsider the break up can be tricky and if not implemented correctly can result in you losing your ex forever.

The best way to make your ex miss you without using any tricks or manipulation tactics that will avoid harming your chances to reunite is to show your ex exactly what they are missing by moving on with your life. Here me out for a second, the process of forgetting about your ex is almost identical to the one to win them back.

Step 1: As the saying goes everyone wants what they can not have and your ex is no different. Regardless of the reason for the break up all relationships can be saved and almost everyone has second thoughts after a break up, this is what you need to hold onto.

Step 2: Agree with your ex that the break up is the right move, thank your ex for the time you shared together and stop all contact. This is probably the very last thing you want to hear right now but you need to do this to turn the tables and make your ex miss you with this effective method.

Step 3: Start doing things you enjoy, forget about your ex for the time being, live your life knowing that your ex will hear about the "new you" very soon. Feel confident, positive and happy, get the word out to your ex about how great life is and how well things are going.

Step 4: Your ex's mind will race wondering what has bought on this "new you", they will wonder if you have met someone else and begin to question if the decision to leave you was the correct one. This will make your ex miss you and start to feel jealous, expect contact from your ex.


It's more than just a new trend to pick up women on Facebook. It is in fact a new way to meet people, join dating groups, and hook up. In reality, it's not that different from any other form of internet dating except that it takes a little more effort to find the women who are available and also looking.

Before you pick up women on Facebook take the time to open up a separate account to use for dating potential versus regular communication with your friends. You can communicate through individual messages, but getting started will be easier if you can use your wall for posting general messages.

There are several ways that you can pick up women on Facebook. You can join groups that are slanted toward meeting people and possibly dating. These groups are easy to find on Facebook, and it is not necessary to wait for an invitation from someone on your friend list.

If you get an invite, you will get into the group faster, but if you join without the invitation and you are willing to wait for approval you'll find some interesting groups to connect. You are waiting for approval simply because they want to make sure you're a real person.

Actually picking up women on Facebook is similar to connecting with women on any other forum. Respond to women with respect and let them take the lead a little bit. Make your profile enticing and give yourself a chance to contact the women you're interested in (or who are interested in you) through general postings. Private messages should be directed through the message system.

As your relevant groups get larger, you'll be able to continue your quest through Facebook messages. Most women are going to want to establish a little bit of relationship before agreeing to any sort of contact, including web based intimate contact. Make sure that you are keeping things clean. Check the ages of those sending you friend requests and make sure you follow laws that apply.


Do you really, I mean really, want your ex back? After having a close relationship with a man, who then dumped you, you may want him back. After all you put a lot of time and emotional effort into that relationship, you can't just let it go without trying to win your ex back.

Firstly you need to stop, take a long breath and analyse your feelings. Do you still care deeply about you ex? Sometimes you will remember the safe, comfortable feelings you enjoyed when you were together, but you can't let comfort and safety cloud your judgement. If you still have deep passionate feelings for your ex, you are ready to move on to the next phase and try to win back your ex.

After determining that true love is what you experienced, you can start working on ways to bring both of you back together. Think back to when you fell in love, what was special about him and what do you think he loved about you? Were you fitter and more optimistic about life, did you enjoy more activities together?

Upon spending time with a guy things change, you become complacent and take things for granted. Maybe you need to remember the fun things you did together, also as he spends more time with you, you in turn spend less time with your girlfriends or on your own interests. You may have let yourself go a bit because you felt secure in his affection. If you want to win your ex back, you need to go back to being the girl he feel for.

Another tip to win your ex back is to not be clingy or pester you ex with calls, texts and especially don't stalk him. You definitely don't want to appear desperate. By seeming happy and unaffected you will actually be more desirable to him.

When you start to live life without him you will need to focus on what makes you happy, reconnecting with friends and family. You may even take up a hobby or play some sport, you will become a more positive person in general, then once you ex sees you being strong and confident he will want you back.

From time to time you will see him and this is when you can use the past to your advantage, wear clothes that he liked to see you in and meet at restaurant that you both liked, and just happen to mention that you had eaten there a few times recently. Because of the fun experiences you had together, you can use common history to win your ex back.


In order to pick up beautiful women, or any woman for that matter, you need confidence, as women are attracted to confident guys. No matter what you believe, the truth is that women find a confident man very attractive.

Confidence is almost like a love potion to women; ask just about any woman what they want in a man and confidence with be one of the first things they say. Confidence will be on their list and it is usually in the top five. You may be wondering why this is so important when you want to pick up beautiful women. You may even remember at some point in your life where one woman had two guys after her; perhaps one guy was the "good guy" and the other was the "bad guy". The "good guy" was nice to her. The "bad guy" was, well not so nice.

The good guy would take her out on nice dates to dinner and movies and buy her nice gifts. The good guy would treat her well and be nice to her. But the good guy never got the "good stuff" he really wanted. He never got her love or affection. No kissing, no touching, and certainly no sex. Yet he would manage to pick up beautiful women all the same.

The reason has nothing to do with whether women want to be treated poorly or not; and the reason has nothing to do with whether women want excitement in their life or not. The deeper reason has to do with confidence; the more confidence that a man exudes the more he has the ability to reason has nothing to do with whether women want to be treated poorly or not; and the deeper reason has nothing to do with whether women want excitement in their life or not. The deeper reason has to do with confidence; the more confidence a man exudes the more he is able to pick up beautiful women.

This is a proven fact. Stick to what this article has taught you, and you'll do fine.


Here are several tips to pick up women for the shy guy, because if you are a shy guy, you probably need some help with dating tips right now.

The first shy guy dating tip is to make being shy work for you; a lot of shy guys think dating success is only possible if they try to be something they are not. Many women actually like the shy approach; in other words, you are your own worst enemy because you are paralyzed with fear and insecurity - but all of that is just in your head - you will surprise yourself if you act in the face of fear and find that your worst fears do not have to come true as long as you have a few tips to pick up women.

The second of the shy guy dating tips to pick up women is called "borrowing confidence", because the opposite of shyness is confidence and women love confidence. It can help to think of someone who has the kind of confidence you really wish you had: who could that be? Would it be someone you know personally? Would it be a fictional person like James Bond, agent 007? Would it be a famous person you've seen on TV? Pick that person and practice acting like that person. It will feel strange at first, but don't worry about that because that part will not matter. What matters is that you can use this simple but extremely powerful technique to take on new behaviors that will really become your own after a very short period of time.

Following these tips to pick up women will help to build up your confidence and allow you to approach and date the women that you previously felt were unapproachable.


Choosing the right wedding favors can be a daunting task when its coupled with choosing the right dress, finding a wedding venue to host the reception, and deciding who to invite to the after party. With all these choices to ponder over it's no wonder brides often get frustrated and stressed out.

One area that brides often worry to much about is what gifts to give to there friends at the reception and then where they will place them when it comes to the seating chart. Both these headaches can be taken care of if they just choose the right wedding favors. Place card holders offer a solution to this problem by offering a great gift and letting your guest know where they can be seated. Place card holders also come in many different shapes and styles so you don't have to worry about there not being a great looking one to match your wedding style or theme.

When your looking to find place card holders to match your wedding start out by Add Imagegoing online, many online wedding sites often offer unmatched discounts and they typically offer free shipping with a minimum order amount. This will not only help you save but it will allow you to stay at home so that you can continue to work on the rest of your wedding planning.
Place card holders are not the only type of wedding favor that you can use to delegate your guest to there designated seating spots. You can accomplish this with any type of favor you just have to make sure that you add some personalized tags to each favor. In some ways guest might even appreciate this more because it will look as if you really spent some time choosing the favors and you even went to the trouble of personalizing each gift to them.

Relationships and Pain


Unless you are a real loner, you need relationships. Even if you are a loner you cannot live all alone. You need to interact with others for your basic needs of food, shelter etc. The issue is that most of us crave for a deeper relationship. A deeper relationship is one that satisfies our emotional needs. That gives us the confidence that we are not all alone. Why most of us have pets- for the simple reason that we get somebody we care for and who cares for us in return, somebody we can call our own. Beyond that we all need to bond with a human and that may bring more pain than pleasure. Let us see how.

Emotional needs

Emotional needs cause a big conflict. Your emotional needs may be different to those of your partner. That will drive both of you in different directions to satisfy respective needs. You may be looking for more of emotional security in terms of acceptance where as your partner may be more worried about not being rejected by you. There can be many such conflicts. They arise because we are born with different mental makeup, we grow up with different mental make up but when we meet each other we want to make a common bond. Sometimes people feel that their partner is like them. But that may be true in only some aspects. As the relationship progresses, other differences come in picture.

References-

All of us carry references from our past. What we experienced repeatedly or what we felt strongly became our reference. In our childhood one of the references we stored was not to misbehave, otherwise we could be punished. We store our references for future use in our mind. If you fell in love and were hurt badly, that may become your reference. You may feel afraid falling in love again. We have different references from each other and that creates a difference in how we perceive a situation. Any partnership suffers because of this. Please discuss your references with your partner to avoid these conflicts.


Human nature cannot be predicted. We all think that we know somebody. That means that we believe that we know how a friend or family member would react to a situation. We think that we know this at least about people we are very close to. Do we really? If that were true, relationship would not sour. Because our partner is surely a person we know a lot about. But suddenly we are confronted with a partner about whom our feelings change or vice versa. Why does this happen?

I am not sure whether people change at all. But surely the way they behave or act is so unexpected that we feel they have changed. In a relationship a couple may have been having the best time together. Both partners think that they are made for each other. There is a belief that their goals are same and that their thoughts are same. They are a perfect couple who are in deep romantic love and who seem to be unable to live without each other.

Can such a couple change? Yes, even a couple which shares everything perfectly changes in relationship when decisions about values have to be taken. If one of the partners has very strong values about something they will not surrender that under any circumstances. For example, you have a sense of what is right and what is wrong. I also have my sense of right and wrong. If I believe very strongly in my sense, I will never accept what you want me to do. If you think that lie is Ok if life can be carried on and if I believe that lie is unacceptable, can we ever share the same relationship? This test does not come immediately after the relationship, but after some months or years. We suddenly find that our values are in strong conflict with our partner and whatever effort we make is useless to change their point of view. At that point love turns bitter. As if suddenly some sour thing was added to a sweet.

 

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